THE CEREMONY:

Boyd- “Do you give this bride to this groom knowing that there are no refunds or exchanges?

Kevin – “I sure do - Drew, she is all yours ! “

Smo - Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings us togewer today...
Floyd – at the lovely Home Depot parking lot
Summer – to unite Bratzilla and her boy-toy meal ticket
Boyd – in holy matrimony and bondage
Bill – day in/day out …week after week … hour after hour …. year after long year … as life passes you by?

VOWS
summer - Drew do you take this spoiled creature to be your wife and promise
bill – to pay for her champagne, let her have her way, and support her when her unemployment checks run out?

Drew – I do

smo- Katie do you take Drew – and promise to change his diapers when he gets old …
Boyd - to let him have some of his beer, not whine all the time, and to occasionally let drew be the guy?

Katie – I do

RINGS
smo – Let these rings serve to remind you that once you put them on you are together until death – forever – and ever – until eternity - until you die.

summer – Drew, place this arcane symbol of bondage on Bratzilla’s finger and repeat after Boyd

Boyd - Krusty, I give you this ring / as a sign / that I know / that it will always be /my fault

bill – Krusty, place this ring on Drew’s finger and repeat after Floyd, if you can understand him
Floyd – Drew, I give you this ring / as a sign / that I know /that it will always be /your fault.

Boyd … Before we continue and knowing that you had a chance before … is there any reason … any reason at all why these two should not be married … aside for their false marriage before.

Kevin – I object on the grounds that I am carrying Katie’s love child.

Summer - With this objection noted and ignored – and against our better judgment …. By the powers invested in us

bill - by the Government of the US Virgin Islands, which legally allows us to ruin people’s lives

Floyd - and Home Depot

smo – we now pronounce you Married until you die.

Boyd – you may kiss your perpetulant child

Summer – Now presenting again and hopefully for the last time …
Mr & Mrs Drew Prins